Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane
by hypersterile boject
Summary: There is a cardboard box training dictators. Soon the world is engulfed by war!
1. Chicken

Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane  
By Eccentric Mookie  
  
Disclaimer: The only characters I own are Giant Mosquito, Banana, Everyone (who dies ;-;), Random Lollipop, Leon's Brain, and Cheese-In-A-Box. All of the others belong to their rich and famous creators. -_-  
  
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On the Destiny Islands, Riku just so happened to be stuffing his face with fried chicken.  
  
Riku: Ah, my chicken, my demented chicken. I shall protect you with all of my power, never to let you enter the mouth of another soul. You are the chocolate in the air, in my nose. ::licks the box that the chicken came in::  
  
Kairi: ::from a distance:: Raw meat is better!  
  
Riku: ::grumble grumble::  
  
Then, for some reason which is good for something but whose reason has not yet been identified (or a piece of paper), Riku went nonsane! ::cough::  
  
Riku: ::grabs a minivan out of nowhere and drives into Yuffie:: Take that, you, you . person. o.o  
  
Yuffie: ::goes flying through the air::  
  
Riku: I didn't know she could fly.  
  
Giant Mosquito: Feathers and particle board. is what we're ALLLLLLLLL made of! ^^;  
  
Yuffie: ::appears before Riku:: I fly because my master shoved me off a cliff and taught me how. And then I failed to learn it. v_v  
  
Leon: ::falls from the sky in a pair of clown shoes, mumbling:: How did they cram my gargantuan feet into these, anyways?.  
  
Riku: Bwah! Such is the nature of stuff, which in some distant time was normal or dead and pineapples with the junk. Yeah! o_o  
  
Leon: ::flies over the rainbow:: Yeah, well, when master Yug Rug finds out about your RUDENESS. -_-  
  
Aerith: ::whacks everyone's butt with a banana::  
  
Banana: ::sniff sniff::  
  
Everyone: ::runs up, hugs Banana:: Hi, my name's Everyone! But now I must die to death. -.-'  
  
Suddenly, the sky goes dark and lightning flashes as Sephiroth descends slowly.  
  
Sephiroth: ::descends slowly, but crashes into ground anyway, then steps out of crater:: Would any of you care for some high-quality tartar sauce?  
  
Cloud: ::walks in wearing hillbilly clothes:: Muwah! O_O Observe! ::carefully scrapes tartar off teeth, squeezes it into metal bucket:: There you have it! Home-made high-quality plaque sauce! ^_^  
  
Sephiroth: That's TARTAR sauce! You illiterate child! ::stark raving mad::  
  
Cloud: x_x ::whimper whimper::  
  
Random Lollipop: ::shoves self up Yuffie's nose::  
  
Oh no! How will Yuffie get the Random Lollipop out of her nostril?! Will Sephiroth and Cloud ever make any munny with their tartar sauce industry? And, most importantly. WHERE HAS RIKU'S FRIED CHICKEN GONE?!?! Find out in the next twisted chapter of Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane! ^_^ 


	2. Chicken from a Bedpan?

Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane  
by Eccentric Mookie  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. o.o Okay, on to the story!  
  
When we last left off, Yuffie got a Random Lollipop stuck in her nose. Cloud and Sephiroth started to produce homemade tartar sauce. And Riku lost his fried chicken! Will any of them ever come to sanity?! Highly doubtful, because the authoress ::cough:: HATES SANITY! So much, in fact, that she ate her own. ^.^  
  
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Yuffie: Help! Someone get me a life jacket! x_x  
  
Riku: O_o' ::tosses her a life jacket::  
  
Yuffie: ::uses life jacket as a crowbar to pry lollipop from her nose::  
  
Random Lollipop: ::pops out, gets lodged in Leon's nose as he walks up dressed in his Sacred Headdress::  
  
Leon: For. ME? Can I keep it?! ::pets the lollipop stick hanging from his nose-hole but abruptly falls over from lack of air::  
  
Giant Mosquito: You know a magnet is really boring when it's dusty. *^^*  
  
Sora: ::walks up nervously:: Tangerine, anyone? o_o  
  
Leon: ::suddenly wakes up:: I'm a tangerine! ::goes back to being dead::  
  
Aerith: O_o'  
  
Riku: ::glares at Aerith:: Butt-whacker-with-a-poor-defenseless-banana. -.-  
  
Aerith: ::in the native hillbilly language:: Fo'give meh! x_x  
  
Leon: ::is screaming in his sleep:: Yyyyy.nnnnnfffff. YES THE GREEN PARROT STOLE MY JELLO! QUIT ASKING ME ALREADY! Mmmlllllllnnyukkknnffff.  
  
Kairi: ::runs up:: Store your brain in a cereal box you ten-foot piece of nothing! ::runs away::  
  
Sora: The pencil has been taken from her head and now her brain is crumbliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. o.o  
  
Banana: ::runs into closet shrine and sits on cereal box::  
  
Leon's Brain: ::comes out of cereal box:: Is the coast clear?  
  
Kairi: ::drives up on a mo-ped (A/N: However you spell it. x.x):: No! The coast is blue with yellow zigzags! ^_^ ::drives off::  
  
Leon's Brain: Ow. My hypothalamus hurts. ;-;  
  
Sora: ::runs up:: You mean hippopotamus? ^^; ::sinks into the ground while licking a cement popsicle::  
  
*In a distant corner of some insane asylum*  
  
Riku: My wonderful fried chicken! Why did you run away from meeeeeee?! And, most importantly, why did you have to hide in a bedpan?! Now I cannot eat thee! ::begins sobbing about caribou antlers for no reason::  
  
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Yuffie's nose is lollipopless, Leon is supposedly dead, his brain is free to roam, and Sora has really crazy taste in food. O_o Where have Cloud and Sephy gone with their metal bucket of tooth scrapings? And will Riku have to order a new carton of chicken?! Before I go, I'd like to die! Thanks a bunch for rotting your brains with my pointless crap! ^^; ::appreciates it much:: Goodnight peoples! ::runs away:: 


	3. Tire Shack and LPoFC

Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane  
by Eccentric Mookie  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts! I wish Sora was mine, but he ain't! ::grumble grumble:: ::realizes some people actually expect a story:: Oh, right. Ahem. Chap 3! ^.^  
  
Last time on Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane: Yuffie got the Random Lollipop out of her nose. I named that lollipop Pineapple-And-Cheese, by the way. o.o Oh, anyways. Leon's dead, I think, and Cloud and Sephiroth have supposedly disappeared! ^o^ ::freaky Halloween-type music plays in background:: And, the most horrible thing since the invention of the roller blade. Riku found his fried chicken in a bedpan! Nue! O_O  
  
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Giant Mosquito: I feel so neglected. ;-;  
  
Yuffie: ::braiding Giant Mosquito's leg-hair.spines.stuff:: How come? ^_^  
  
Giant Mosquito: My mom didn't tuck me in last night wif my plush cockroach, which smells --and, ta-da! ACTS-- like tree sap. ;-;  
  
Aerith: ::sitting nearby:: I want to change my name to "Tire Shack Aeris". Is that odd?  
  
Leon: ::wakes up:: Of course it's not, Tire Shack! Now, we can throw you out a window and scream "Hey, someone drive this way so Tire Shack can smash through your windshield" instead of "Hey, someone drive this way so Aerith can smash through your windshield"! ^.^  
  
Yuffie: ::jumps up like a maniac, which she is:: That sounds like laundry to meeeeeh! ^____^  
  
Sora: ::pops up out of nowhere and throws his cement popsicle at Tire Shack Aeris::  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: ::makes a big production over leaping, swerving to her right, and catching the cement popsicle in her mouth, even though it exploded and doesn't exist anymore::  
  
Leon: ::watches as Tire Shack Aeris stands in a hole in the ground, chewing the cement popsicle until it turns into an Insane Banana::  
  
Sora: Th-th-the popsicle. It waz mine. ;-;  
  
Kairi: ::is dragging herself on the ground, her legs trapped in a giant three-ring school folder:: Now it belongs to the Frivolous Buttchox! *^^* ::makes a volley of sick grunting noises and drags herself away::  
  
Leon: Kill meh now. X_x  
  
Yuffie: Eelah! ::whacks him in the head with a Easy-Bake Oven:: ^_____^  
  
Leon: ::explodes in slow motion. So slow, in fact, that no one even saw it happened until his 300th birthday!::  
  
*In order to save the readers from severe nonsanity, we will now travel to the same dusty corner of the insane asylum in order to see what Riku and his fried chicken are up to*  
  
Riku: ::still wondering what he should do with his chicken-from-a-bedpan::  
  
Little Piece of Fried Chicken (LPoFC): ::whispers:: Eeeeeeeeaaaaaaaatt muuuuuyyyyyye! o.o  
  
Riku: ::stares at LPoFC:: It's.it's.alive.like a brand new boat from the reeds off of which tiny children faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall! O_O ::backs away from LPoFC::  
  
LPoFC: Well, if you won't eat me, can you at least take me to The World of Sheep? I have an appointment with Master Yug Rug. -_-'  
  
Riku: O__o Is Master Yug Rug a tapeworm?  
  
LPoFC: Yesh. ._.  
  
Some Nurse Walking Past With A Cleaned-Out Bedpan: ::to Riku:: Excuse me, but shouldn't you be in the feeding area, young man?  
  
Riku: WHAT?! Wait, no, I don't belong here! I just came to find my chicken! Without it, I would die, or have to live in a cardboard box, or something! X_X'  
  
Nurse: ::points to a mob of mental patients screaming about chickens, boxes, and death:: That's what they all say. -_-'  
  
Riku: ::gets dragged away into mob of mental patients:: NOOOOOOOOO!  
  
LPoFC: ;-; Mommy, come back!  
  
*Okay, that wasn't any less nonsane. x.x Let's go check on Cloud and Sephy.*  
  
Cloud: ::has a giant tube in his mouth, which is hooked onto big vacuum- like contraption-ma-bobber::getting the plaque sucked off his teeth:: Ow musj logga, Shepivosh?!  
  
Sephiroth: Stuff a Dodge Camry in your ear, you illiterate child! ::stark raving bloody mad with a capital 5::  
  
Illiterate Child Cloud: ::sobbing:: I jhuz wan do know oen yow goung do take dish tingy out ov my mout! ;-;  
  
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Well, there you have it. Giant Mosquito is neglected. Aerith has a new and lovely name. How did Leon wake up? Did his brain crawl back in his head? I shall nevaire reveal the answers! ^^; Because there aren't any. o.o There MIGHT be an answer as to why Kairi is stuck in a folder, and it MIGHT have to do with the letter 8. But no one knows. ^_^ What the hell is Riku going to do in an insane asylum?! Watch Leave it to Beaver all day?! Most likely. Next time we see Cloud and Sephy, they'll probably be under the refridgerator. ._. I plan to make this ficcy a looooooooong drawn out one! 


	4. The Cursed Hot Blimey Desert Again

Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane  
by Eccentric Mookie~  
  
Disclaimer: ::holds up steel-jaw trap with a shred of fabric caught in it:: Sora has succeeded in evading me once more! -_- I'll never own him at THIS rate...  
  
When we last left off, lots of insane stuff happened. O_O ::can't remember it all:: Now, as we venture back to this insane world (called Delirium, peoples!), we hear lots of ::cough:: corny adventurer-type music and watch as Kairi drags herself through the desert, her legs still caught in that stinking folder.  
  
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Kairi: Oh curse my rotten cursed, blimey luck! Curse the 8 proverbs of the Wise Hobos and curse the immortal pipecleaner! Curse all those demented mimes and their pet garbage cans wich smell and act and look like real, life-size idiots! And curse this desert! ::looks around and sees a cheese wedge with wings flying over her in circles, ready to eat her once she dies in this sweltering hot cursed desert::  
  
Riku: ::drives up in a soap dish:: Jump in!  
  
Kairi: Aren't you supposed to be in the place for mentally ill people who run around screaming about chickens and who cannot control their bladders and thus must wear big cumbersome sumo diapers which smear their waste ungracefully around on their behinds? O_o  
  
Riku: Nevermind that! Pie is after me! It wants my chicken! And NOTHING is more important than MY CHICKEN!!! So jump in before I drive away like an inconsiderate bastard, leaving you here until your bones melt in this cursed heat! O_O  
  
Kairi: o_O I think I'll stay here and boil. Besides, who's Pie?  
  
Riku: It's pie, not Pie. And it's an IT, not a who. -_o  
  
Pie: ::chasing Riku and his soap dish on long, lean, gazelle-like legs::  
  
Riku: ::to Kairi:: O.O' I must go now! ::picks up his soap dish and runs::  
  
Kairi: ::watches as the soap dish magically lifts Riku in to the air::  
  
Pie: ::runs up to Kairi and begins to sing Gumless Grampa, but is dragged away by Tire Shack Aeris::  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: ::stares at Kairi:: You! You're not Kairi! O_O  
  
Kairi: You're right! I'm Ham! ^_^  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: You! You're not Ham!  
  
Kairi: ;-; I wish I was. I'm actually Tie-dyed Calendar with Unbelievably Big-  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: You! You're not Tie-dyed Calendar with Unbelievably Big Toenails which Smell like Rabid Monkeys! You aren't anyone! How could you?! Who have you been doing this with?  
  
Cheese-In-A-Box: My table looks like a-- ::wails:: --POOOOOOODAHL!  
  
Kairi: Poodle, you illiterate child! ::begins to sing:: Poodle-woodle, smack up the cheese! Poodle-woodle, pack up your knees! Poodle-woodle, whack up my fleas! Poodle-woodle, shack up with Jeeves! Or Jeevo, whichever you prefer. I think Jeevo is quite the doozer. Wouldn't you agree, Tire Shack? ^_^  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: ::transmorphosizes into an illiterate bald thingiemabobberjig:: I hate Jeevo. He was my grandma for Halloween next year. Only after I whacked him with my strawberry-scented candle did he submit. -.-'  
  
Cloud: ::jumps from a nearby cliff:: IT IS TIME TO REVIVE THE EVERLASTING DOOM PANTRY!!!  
  
Tire Shack Aeris and Kairi: O.o  
  
Cloud: I forgot my lines and had to make some up. ;_;  
  
Sephiroth: ::comes swooshing around the riverbend like a crap-crazed maniac, which he is::  
  
Kairi: HOLD IT! There's a river here and I didn't even know about it?! I could have gone dehydratedmabobber!  
  
Sephiroth: ::picks up the mentally-ill river and tosses it into an airsick bag, then flings it out into the depths of the *majestically* Miiiiilkyyyy Waaaaaaaaayyyyyy!:: There. Now it does not exist, you illiterate grass- lacking, cud-hacking, ass-whacking child!  
  
*Wherever Sora is*  
  
Sora: Where am I? Oh, yeah! I'm inside a paperclip! Where have the metal Cayxies gone?  
  
Metal Cayxie (pronounced CAX-ee): Welcome to the lair of the Metal Cayxies, the Cayxies who live and thrive in metal! Cans, doorknobs, cars and most other metal will do. Now step deeper into our majestical-HUUUYYYYY! AHHHCKKCKCHHHHHNNGGLLLLLRRNNNDDDDNNN, GAH! ::dies, her eyes turning to X's::  
  
Sora: I guess this is a plastic paperclip. o.O Ah, well, on to Master Yug Rug's Majesticamal Refridgerator of Majesticalness! ^.^  
  
all the characters in this story, even Leon, although he's still dead: ::appear under the Refridgerator::  
  
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Wow! Who, or what, is Master Yug Rug? Little Piece of Fried Chicken said he was a tapeworm, but everyone knows that some stinking piece of chicken can never be trusted! o_o' What in Padded-Strobe-Light's name would Yug Rug want with our insane heroes? Pull up a chair and. go away until I write chap 5. o_O Read and review please! 


	5. A Corpse of Canvas

Go and Be Dead, then Go Nonsane  
By Eccentric Mookie  
  
Disclaimer: Yadayadayada, blargh blargh, I dun own Kingdom Hearts, etc.  
  
*Last time on this sorry-excuse-for-a-fic, everyone appeared under the Majestical Refrigerator of Majesticalness! ^.^*  
  
Leon (who is dead): Where are we? Is this Delirium? Oh, it's rainin' lead, Halleluiah!  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: What? Leon, have you damaged your brain again? o.o  
  
Dead Leon: What brain? And it's SQUALL! You winned a BRAIN-NUU CAWR!  
  
Sora: Shut up, you infidels! I can hear someone!  
  
Yug Rug: ::appears, sniffing the ground::  
  
Riku: ::holding LPoFC:: Yug! What did you call us here for?  
  
Yug Rug: There's an egg noodle on the loose. Some moldy shoe got him mistaken for a tapeworm and shot him. It just so happens that the moldy shoe had already shot another moldy shoe, but that's not having anything to do with our current predicament.  
  
Sora: Box?  
  
Yug Rug: Oh, of course. The Box helped the moldy shoe become a murderer too.  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: What?! Sora?! You had an alliance with Yug Rug this WHOLE TIME?!  
  
Sora: Um. No. It wasn't meeeeee! I was being possessed! o.o;  
  
Dead Leon: But what about some stinking box?! I'll tie him to a checkbook. But anyways, I'll throw him clear of any trampolines and watch him sink into the ocean, unable to swim because I filled him with rocks. ::mumbles plans of torturing The Box::  
  
Kairi: What can WE do? We're just some random people with no superpowers whatsoever who eat half-dead cockroaches and use colored pencils to write death threats on New York alley walls.  
  
Riku: We never do any of that stuff. O_o  
  
Kairi: But we COULD, you know. o.o  
  
Yug Rug: Enough! You babble of cockroaches and death threats! How moronic can you BE?! Oh, Great Pineapple, kill me!  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: And you babble of a box and a murdering shoe.  
  
Yug Rug: There is a great difference between stupidity and insanity. -_-'  
  
Riku: There is? o_O  
  
Yug Rug: Oh. Not really. o_o Anyways, I need all of you to catch this moldy shoe. He is supposedly on the loose in some random place, A.K.A., Chile-  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: That's Chili.  
  
Yug Rug: Really? o.O  
  
Sora: I thought it was Taco? o.o  
  
Yug Rug: ::smacks himself in the head:: Let's just. . . stick with Chile. . .  
  
Sora: Taco! T_T  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Chili! _  
  
Dead Leon: Tortilla! ^_^  
  
Kairi: Salsa! ^^  
  
Illiterate Child Cloud: Chips! ^.^  
  
Sephiroth: Tartar sauce. e_e  
  
Sora: Lalalala-- TACO! T____T  
  
Yug Rug: Nevermind! Sheesh! Okay, go there-whatever it's called-and find the stupid, dangblasted, good-for-nothing shoe! Before it murders more worthless beings! x_x  
  
Dead Leon: I am the broken alarm clock at your command, I will steal his sole. ^________^  
  
Yug Rug: Right... o___O'  
  
*As the loyal and brave team boards the plane to Chile-I mean Chili-I mean Taco-err. . . you get it.*  
  
Sephiroth: ::shoving people out of the way with that lethal sword thingie::  
  
Riku: Why can't we just take a car? I get plane-sick.  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: That's airsick. And I haven't made any cars yet. ^^  
  
Riku: You're going to make cars? I won't be riding in them. x____x'  
  
Sora: I'm gonna help! ^^ ::holds up a giant blowtorch and burns off an old man's wig:: Wheee! I've gone pyromaniac! ^__________^ ::runs around burning people::  
  
Dead Leon: Wow, a burnt wig. ::picks it up and chews on it:: Banana flavor. ^.^  
  
Old man: H-h-hey-y! G-g-ive it ba-a-a-aaaack-k! S-s-e-c-c-urit-t-ty-!  
  
Kairi: He sounds constipated. o.o  
  
Old man: Why you little-!  
  
Riku: Hey! There's a food tray coming! But anyways, the old man doesn't sound like an old man anymore! O.O  
  
Old man: ::rips off his face (which is really a mask) and reveals himself to be the Shoe::  
  
Dead Leon: GET HIM!!!  
  
*Now we see a chase sequence as our heroes pursue the evil murderous Shoe through a crowded airport, which magically turns into The Cursed Hot Blimey Desert (or whatever it's called) from earlier.*  
  
Sora: Leon-the-the wig! Toss it to meeeee! O______O  
  
Dead Leon: ::throws the burnt wig into Sora's face at ninety miles per hour::  
  
Sora: ::peels the wig from his face:: That's not exactly what I meant, but-- o.O ::throws the burnt wig under Shoe's shoes::  
  
Shoe: ::slips and slides down a sand dune:: Eeeeedlermoonershuckenflagdoolunkinclap! GRRRRRR! ::snarls and froths at the mouth:: Wait, I'm not supposed to wear shoes... ::takes his shoes off, then continues running from the heroes::  
  
*Suddenly, Shoe's feet begin to melt due to the Hot Cursed Sand of the Desert. In fact, his rubber sole begins to decompose and soon he is only a flap of canvas running wildly, half-dead*  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Grab him before he regenerates! .  
  
Dead Leon: Grab him before I regenerate! x.x'  
  
Kairi: Grab him before a dead microscopic person regurgitates! ^.^  
  
Illiterate Child Cloud (who has become Literal Adult Cloud): ::grabs Shoe and pops him with a balloon:: There. Now the microscopic boards of wood have been saved from The Immortal Eccentric Psycho Powers of a Shoe's Doom. A.K.A., my foot.  
  
Yug Rug: ::appears:: Good. Now eat rocks. ::disappears::  
  
Riku: If he can travel between time and space in the netherworld and the desert without leaving the comfort of his adjustable bed while at the same time telling us to eat rocks as we wither in the desert-uhhhhh-- where was I again? .'  
  
Sephiroth: You mean Yug could have killed Shoe on his own, as in without our help? e_e  
  
Riku: Yeah. o.o How come we had to do all the work? T_T  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Because Yug Rug is too lazy and weak on his bum watching Revenge of the Half-Eaten Dictionary, der. e,e  
  
Yug Rug: ::appears:: EAT ROCKS NOW! And I'm not watching Revenge of the Half-Eaten Dictionary. -.-'  
  
Sora: ::can hear into Yug Rug's house, and hears someone scream "Oh no! The dictionary! It's gone mad! There's a bite mark out of it too! Could it be- it's the leader of the half-eaten dictionaries! RUN!":: Oh you're not, are you?  
  
Yug Rug: ::nervously:: Ummm. Nope. _'  
  
Sora: Oh. Okay. ^_^  
  
Riku: x_x'  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: ::holds up the flap of canvas that was once Shoe:: Well, what do we do with this worthless corpse?!  
  
Yug Rug: ::leans forward and eats it:: There. One problem solved. Now go solve the other one.  
  
Riku: What "other one"? o_O  
  
Yug Rug: There wasn't another problem? o_o'  
  
Kairi: Not that I can remember of. ^^ ::licks a grain of sand::  
  
Yug Rug: Ohhhhh. Um. ::thinks for a moment, then throws a mathematics book at Dead Leon:: Okay, there. Solve those. Then report back with me at the Majestic Refrigerator of Majesticalness.  
  
Literal Adult Cloud: Math?! How will that get rid of The Box?!  
  
Yug Rug: It won't. The Box is still training dictators. But at least you'll all be a little smarter. -.-' ::disappears::  
  
*A quiet moment follows Yug's departure. The sun is setting, and the Cursed Blimey Desert is growing cold.*  
  
Dead Leon: How will a math book make us smarter? ::wonders::  
  
Sora: Oh, I get it! he wants us to learn how to make a campfire! ::lights the math book on fire with his giant blowtorch:: Whee! I'm still going pyromaniac! ^.^ ::runs around lighting sand on fire::  
  
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*Tons of thanks to all my reviewers! All of you deserve a giant blowtorch! ^_____^ ::passes out giant blowtorches to everyone:: Now, go and be good little pyromaniacs as I decide the plot-or non plot-for the next chap! Burn some haystacks! Cremate some hobos! ^^* 


	6. The Dreaded Author's Note

Author's note: I have tried to update this fanfic frequently, but FF.net keeps shortening the chapters and deleting valuable parts of it for no stinking reason whatsoever. I removed formatting, made the chapters smaller, and other things, but it won't work!!! ::dies from frustration:: IF I can get the document manager thingy to work, the next three chapters should be up soon. x_x; 


	7. Box Von Dictator

Go and Be Dead, Then Go Nonsane  
by Triangular Circle  
  
Disclaimer: I own a Soujirou plushie. And. that's it. o_o;  
  
Last time!: Shoe the evil shoe was killed, and Yug left our heroes with some last words and a mathematics book! What now?! o.o _______________________________________________  
  
Yuffie: Ya know-- has anyone even noticed what Yug Rug looks like? o_O  
  
Dead Leon: Not me! ^^  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Probably not me! ^^;  
  
Sora: zzzZZ  
  
Literal Adult Cloud: I was too busy gloating over my victory! ^_^  
  
Riku: Me too! ^.^  
  
Yuffie: ::smacks herself in the forehead:: Well, I'm still mentally debating whether or not Yug's a tapeworm. _  
  
Yug's voice: I'm not, you infidel! Gah!  
  
Sora: ::screams in his sleep:: EGG NOODLE! ::becomes peaceful again::  
  
Yuffie: All that cement and fire went to his head.  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Mine too! ::parts her hair to reveal burns and chunks of concrete on her scalp::  
  
Now we see a sequence of a lone cardboard box running past their camp  
  
Box: Yeh'll never catch meh! ::sticks out non existent tongue:: Come my little dictators! ::motions toward a mob of diapered toddlers holding Glow- In-The-Dark Condoms::  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Leaping Demented Billy Bobs! Where did they come from?! O_O;  
  
Foremost toddler: Guess!  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: Uhm. The nearest daycare center? o___O;  
  
Foremost toddler: Uh. Incorrect. The FARTHEST daycare center. Okay, you lose. ::runs away gigglesnorting::  
  
Dead Leon: Hey! That kid's got cocaine! ::chases::  
  
Yuffie: Come on, guys! We hafta fight these twirps! ::ninja pose::  
  
Box: Oh no you don't! ::activates an explosive and throws it at Yuffie::  
  
Yuffie: Oooo, pretty! @_@ ::eats it::  
  
Riku: I want one too! ;-;  
  
Box: o_O;; Erg-- That's not how the script goes! ::holds up some papers in the air::  
  
Tire Shack Aeris: That's. a legal document concerning the leasing of a marshmallow. Not a script. o_o;  
  
Box: ? Oh. ::scribbles some pictures of Yuffie blowing up into the document:: There. Now it's a script. And that girl is supposed to detonate!  
  
Yuffie: ::does exactly the opposite of blowing up::  
  
Riku: What IS the opposite of blowing up? ::scratches head in a baffled manner::  
  
Kairi: Caving in while growing colder! DUH! .  
  
Random cave man: DUH!! ^.^ Heehee::snort::heeee::snort::hee! ::gallops away::  
  
Riku: ::blink:: I think that cave man has cocaine too.  
  
Dead Leon: ::zooms past in the cave guy's direction::  
  
Box: Why don't any of my plans ever work out?  
  
Toddler with a Glow-In-The-Dark Condom: ::runs up:: This wasn't your idea. It was Toilet Bowl's.  
  
___________________________________________  
  
::gasp:: Who is Toilet Bowl?! Find out next time!  
  
While writing this chap, I had that evil foot-pad song stuck in my head.  
  
"J-j-j-jump for joy! New Odor-Eaters Plus!"  
  
::shudder:: 


End file.
